You would think, that the most remarkable person in the universe would be the easiest to write about.

Yet time and time again, I sit and try to focus on the words to put on the page to describe Kevin, and it is nearly impossible.

His ‘goodness’ is unbelievable. Truly. To wrap up 20 years of HIM, his love and brilliance, giving, devotion and partnership, is impossible to capture and impossible to understand.

He tops the charts as far as husbands, dads, brothers, sons and pretty much humans – period. He puts romantics to shame. He is angelic. As in, I-think-he-may-really-be-an-angel. He has never ending love and gentleness and kindness and he is this force of nature that makes every around him happy. Mostly me. 20 years with man and I can count on one hand, the number of bad days we’ve shared.

Not that we haven’t had hard times, I’ve just had HIM – in all his glorious perfection, next to me making things all right.

I just sneezed and from downstairs he heard me and  yells “bless you”. Then he texts that I am his favorite person in the world.

Prior to that, 6am to be specific, he took out the trash, fixed the pooper scooper, came in and cleaned all the dishes, folded laundry, made me coffee, put toothpaste on toothbrush. Then, he had a chat with our 16 year old who was heading off for school,  gave her a hug, handed her a homemade lunch he packed, and told her how much he loved her as she walked out.

This is his blessing to us constantly.

This is daily. This is moment to moment life with Kevin. He is joyful and loving and generous. This man oozes goodness and pureness and honesty and loyalty and devotion. And he loves me! He loves his family! He loves us all so very much.

People who know him, get it. And even, having known him, still marvel at how extraordinary he is. But funny enough, even people who don’t know him get it too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to a store or a Starbucks without him and people will say “Oh, you’re married to that real happy guy, he is so nice! Is he always like that?”

Answer is yes. He is.

He is simply, perfect. I know, I know…so let’s call it perfectly imperfect. As is our love.

He is that “nicest guy you’ve ever met”.

But he is also, the sexiest, and funniest and most charming, loyal “guy” I know.

He leaves me love notes, love cards and buys me flowers and gifts for no reason. For 20 years, this is a constant. I save all his notes  –  I’m looking at one now that says “Hey baby, have the best day ever, you are the sunshine in my soul and the best mom ever. I am so lucky to have you!”

Yep, hundreds and hundreds of notes like that.

He knows I love, (and kill) plants – so every single time he goes to Home Depot, he brings me back a new green plant. Never commenting on what we know will ultimately be this next plants’ fate – just indulging me to make me smile.

Every time he goes to the store, he comes home with a treat for me. A Starbucks, a bag of marshmallows – I am easy to please, but he never comes back without a little something special.

And yes, he does the groceries and the laundry and the dishes and the cleaning and the bills. I do too, we just both do it, it’s never even a discussion.

He was present and a partner in our wedding, my pregnancy – our births. Every doctors visit, every doctors visit since. He changed diapers and did feedings and bought stayed up all night with sick kids …he is present, aware, conscientious, helpful, and never, ever complains.

He does the hard stuff too. The bills, the budgets. He takes care of all of our daughters (T1D so many needs) prescriptions and visits and insurance issues.

He makes me laugh! He is silly, and sharp and witty and has the funniest come backs, making life’s most mundane moments extra-ordinary.

And I repeat – the man is silly. He loves bubble baths. And the bigger the bubble pile the better. He makes beards and hats and talks in silly voices, just to make me laugh harder.

And the best part is, when he does get us laughing at something, which is usually all the time, he laughs himself so hard, he cries.Then we all laugh even harder.

He has a huge heart for animals and family and charity. He has freed wild birds and has given homeless people, literally, the shoes on his feet.

He supports my dreams and all of my crazy adventures as if they were his own. I recently ran a 100 mile ultra-marathon (and many many races prior to that) and he trained right along side me. His knees couldn’t handle the miles, but he’d wake with me and my running buddy at 5am every weekend, and give up his whole day to ride along side us.

He’d cheer us on, carry our supplies, and race ahead to get our Gatorade’s and treats and have them laid out and ready when we came by. He’d fake cowbell noises and hold up pretend signs saying “go go go”….and it goes without saying he was at every single one of my races. Always crying as I took off, kissing me and praying for me, and crying when I finished, because my accomplishment was his deepest pride.

I remember at the end of the 100 miler, 32 hours in, I was not doing good. Probably two miles from the finish line, I felt as if heat stroke was kicking on, and I called him, barely able to talk. My friend and I trudged on, and within the next 15 minutes,  here comes Kevin, jeans and sneakers in 90 degree heat, running with a backpack full of water and ice and cloths, from the finish line to where we were, to meet me, and see me across the line. He ran a mile uphill to get to me, just to make sure I made it. Filming us, crying and celebrating just as if it were his own victory.

He did Indian Princesses with the girls their entire childhood. The girls and Kevin say it was the best memories of their lives. Surf camp, snow camp, desert camp, crafts, boats, shooting and archery. We have albums stuffed with years of photos capturing that sacred time they had together. Including photos of Kevin crying, the night they celebrated their last bonfire and ceremoniously closed that chapter in that book.

He was school dad, volunteer dad, soccer coach, volleyball coach and referee.

He taught the girls self defense, how to spray pepper spray and use tasers, and shoot our shot guns and hand guns (that are locked in our wall closet in pieces, with the bullets in another location). Their safety is his utmost concern.

He has stocked our house with a generator, gas, full back packs for each of us with survival gear, tanks of water and all sorts of safety gear if there ever is an emergency (we live in California, land of earthquakes are are just ten miles from a closed Nuclear plant – we are prepared!). Maybe it’s extreme, but he just loves us and wants us all to be safe -so he takes all the precautions he can think of.

He is a wildly talented creative artist/designer and has his own small agency. I can’t tell you how many school fliers, Christmas letters, family fliers, party invites and unique gifts he has made over the years blessing everyone with his talent (and lots of free work).

Everything he does, he does with grace and out of the sheer joy of giving. Ego has never been a part of his world, and his giving, his goodness, is done with smiles, kindness and truly comes from this deep root of love to whomever is lucky enough to be the object of his time and giving.

He is an avid surfer and this past weekend, had hurt his back layered with a bad cold. But my friend and I wanted to go surfing and sweet Kevin, stood in the sting ray filled ocean and pushed us around on our surfboards for almost two hours. He had pure joy watching us have fun – not even a for a moment sad or discouraged because he wasn’t able to surf himself.

During that same surf session, we were next to this guy in the water, who had never been surfing before in his life and was struggling, desperate to catch a wave. Kevin takes a break from us and floats over to the guy, give him some tips, pushes him in to some waves and the dude surfs!! This stranger was a lucky recipient of Kevin’s goodness –  I can’t count the number of times he’s done that in the water. It’s just what he does and who he is. And he always, always leave the person joyful, and better off for having him enter their world. Every single time.

He loves his mom and dad, he checks in with them and sends them notes and drives hours to go see them if they are having a bad day or needs help. He loves his sister, and is her best friend, supporting her and cheering her on through her own relationship and life struggles.

My parents, goes without saying, love and adore him. They call him son, and each time we are together, they hug and thank him for being him and for being so good to me and our kids. My dad’s going comment to me is “ya done good with this one…”. Yes, I sure did dad.

And things that should be hard  – parenting teens, dealing with the health of our children (one has T1D), addictions that have ruined family members, death of other family members and friends…those things that should be hard, simply aren’t. Because Kevin is there, we make it. We grow stronger because of it. We tighten US up even more, and face those obstacles together, head on.

People always say “Marriage is so hard, it’s so rough, you have to work work work….”

Never understood that. Our marriage, has been effortless. I swear I am not glamorizing or beautifying this partnership we have. But it’s effortless. And it’s fun. I love being married to this man – it gets better Every Single Day. I wake up and look at him with utter awe and adoration. He is still hot and gorgeous and sexy and funny. And he still loves me so very much. Not a moment goes by he doesn’t tell me. He walks me outside every time I leave the house and stands on the porch and signs the “I love you sign” as I drive away. Every text, every phone call, ends with an “I love you” and he will never skip a moment to touch me, hold my hand, stroke my hair, my head.

We don’t fight. We just don’t. I’ve never been called a name by him, hurt by him, or offended by him. We don’t always agree, and we may raise our voices every once in a while, and often, more than often, I come unglued and throw a fit over something. But Kevin? Just laughs, smiles, tolerates my emotional outbursts, then talks me off a cliff. He is calm, and centered and thinks fighting is silly, and it usually is. If there is something we disagree on, which is rare, we talk about it. And most times, if its something we may push on, and I won’t give up (because I am not even close to perfect and my ego is the size of an elephant), Kevin is the first to let it go – because it’s typically, not even worth the hassle.

For a few years, I actually struggled because I was no way close, to his goodness. It was so natural for him. Being good and kind and funny and perfect – was just him. I couldn’t match it. And I was so blatantly un-perfect next to him. I would get mad at him, for being so damn good! Guess what his response was? He would laugh. Then hug me and tell me how perfect I was in his eyes. That is Kevin.

But if you ask him, I am perfect, and he never wastes a moment to brag about me to other people. He boasts to all who will listen about my own accomplishments and will tell stories of how he fell in love with me. He honestly shares to all who will listen, that I was the girl of his dreams and still am….leaving some, I am sure, jealous and maybe even a little resentful, because it’s the kind of love every little girl grew up wanting, and I am so blessed with it.

I’ve sadly, had more than one friend with a bad relationship heading for divorce, and they will use Kevin, and how well he treats me, and our marriage as an example to their own kids. That is the influence and profound affect he has on every one he comes across.

The girls know he is rare. They are old enough now to see and acknowledge other relationships around us, and know Kevin is very special. They see how he treats us, and they both have acknowledged this has set their own temperature gauge for boys they bring in to their world. They won’t settle. My little Ruby, then 14, had her first little hang out/kiss moment at the beach with a popular boy from school. She bought him an ice cream cone and he didn’t say thank you. She couldn’t get over that. “Dad would never had not said thank you” – and the boy was gone.

I pray, every day, for his health. For God to keep blessing us and thanking God for the gift He has given me/us with Kevin. We have such a future planned, but we’re already living so happily in the future we dreamed together 20 years ago. Back then it was kids and buying a house and PTA and birthday parties. Now it’s retirement planning and college second loans on the house and aging parents. I see our life in thirds. First third down, two thirds to go.

It goes too quick. It’s like I blink and it’s gone. Which is why I need to cherish it. I need to stop and appreciate, recognize, and thank him, thank God, for his constant gifts to me, to us, to our girls.

So I do. I thank you God. I thank you for Kevin. I thank you for this gift. For him. I thank you for our love and my life and my girls and my sweet, sweet blessing of a husband. I don’t feel worthy of it, but I accept it, and I cherish it. I am not a fan of growing old, but I’ll tell you my number one prayer, is to grow as old as humanly possible, with this beautiful man by my side.