I remember the first time I realized I was going to die. I was 16, and my friend Kelly and I were stoned out of our minds. My parents were out of town for the weekend, and Kelly and I were in my room, laying on our bellies facing each other; a tub of peanut butter and an extra large Hershey’s bar our blissful focus of the moment.

I don’t recall the conversation, but it must have had something to do with mortality, because I remember stating “wow, someday we will be dead, like we will literally, stop living….”

And our stoned, 16 year old minds were blown. It was a (quick) sobering moment of reality that wove a deep thread of truth that stays with me to this day.

At 46, a family grown, a husband I love, a mature career – my wrinkles, achy this and that, graying hair and sunspots continue to remind me, every day is a step closer to my end.

We have some longevity in our family, which is a nice condolence. My grandparents are in their mid-90’s, both my parents mid-70’s are alive and my husband’s father is still strong and vibrant at 86.

But other than adding a small percentage on a page, that doesn’t mean much.

Listen, we’re all facing the same fate.

We – all – die.

Dead. Gone. Over and Out.

Which is why, our beliefs, are so very critical.

Throwing in the religion thing real quick; faith helps. Faith to me, is the solace. My faith (Christianity) allows me to realize this is not the end. I will be in heaven with my loved ones for eternity.

That, is pretty cool.

But I’m not here to tell you about God (although He is pretty rad).

Beliefs, are a given. Beliefs transcend God and religion. We all have them, and we all live by them, even if we don’t realize it.

Beliefs, are your true north. Your guiding principles. The things that allow you to make your decisions, to be YOU. Good or bad, we all move, act and live by our beliefs.

Our beliefs help us carve what happens once that fate is met, but our beliefs also carve, what happens while we’re here, in this body, on this earth.

Our beliefs dictate how we live these days; how we love these days. What we make a priority, what we let go of, what we hold on to. What we focus on and what we ignore.

Listen, the whole death thing – kind of a heavy burden. Am I right?

Knowing we are going DIE is nuts; scary, and brutally real. And we don’t know where, when or how, making it all even more mind-blowing and overwhelming.

But, still, we die. The here -now- this body/life/family/job/passions/joys – gone. Over. Done, when we go that all goes too.

Or does it? Yes, we go, but do we really?

Back to the whole belief thing; if beliefs carve who we are, they also create as a result, every single thing that stems from our having been here.

I am not trying to get into an existential discussion, but every thing we do has an unseen impact, good or bad. Every single move we make, each person we’re nice or mean to, each job we take or leave, each act of kindness, or neglect – create ripples, marks, indents, which in turn, create other actions, ripples, marks….and on, and on.

Dudes and dudettes, we all leave a legacy. It’s up to us to decide what that legacy is.

I want my headstone (well I am not going to have a headstone as I would rather be cremated), but it would’ve read “She left an impact on this world”

And how the heck do I do that?

Just do the best I can.

I don’t think there is much more to it than that.

Seriously. I think, it’s that easy.

Love; everyone.

Be nice, share.

Pick up my trash when no one is looking.

Give when I have more than I need or more important when I don’t.

Thank those who have helped me.

Serve, with an open heart.

Get off the couch, stop pity parties over small, stupid, irrelevant things.

Laugh, play, teach.

Hug, hold and cherish.

Call my parents and tell them I love them.

Write my kids gloriously powerful notes telling them how loved they are.

Honor and respect my husband.

Be generous and kind to my neighbors who I often can’t stand.

See, it’s the small stuff blended with the big stuff that make us better. It’s the stuff you do when no one is watching.

It’s also, DOING.

Find that job you love.

Leave toxic people alone so they stop leaking on you.

Travel and hug people all over the world. Do some good out there.

Research that super cool idea that can make you all sorts of cash and maybe better the world.

Push through something that scares you, that you think you can’t do.

You get the gist.

MOVE. Challenge yourself – DO. 

Super easy to say all of this I know. And super easy to get caught back up in the overwhelming-ness of life sometimes. And sometimes, it IS ok to sit on the couch and have a pity party or be mad at your neighbors or feel bad you didn’t get that job, or whatever. This is all reflection, and reflection helps us evaluate, assess and decide. Trick, is to then let it go, and move again, forward.

Always keep moving – moving forward.

Because friends, it is what it is; we ARE perpetually doing; moving – towards our death.

Let that finality empower you. Let that finality inspire you.

What gift, what ripple, what path, are you choosing to carve?