There are many proud moments we have as parents.

Raising two children, my husband and I have shared plenty. From the sweet elementary school performances, sports achievements and acing tests to the more profound moments like watching our kids be kind to elders, and doing the right thing when they didn’t know we were looking – we had a lot. Watching their characters develop and their hearts mature was a gift, and we are blessed to have countless ‘proud parent’ moments.

But last night, my daughter texted me about something she had done that was so profound, and so life changing, it took my breath away.

Let me offer some background and then I’ll share my proud moment.

My beautiful daughter has Type 1 Diabetes. She was diagnosed at the age of 11, and has struggled and suffered with it, for ten years. She is now 21.

I will not educate you here on T1D, other than it is not her fault (like the myth that comes with it that is attached to Type TWO Diabetes, an entirely different disease).

Hers is a rare, auto-immune fluke that killed her pancreas, and makes her insulin dependent. Everything she eats has to be measured, calculated and then given a shot for. She has to continually monitor and check her blood sugars to assure she is not going too high or low, then either eat more sugar or take more medicine to correct whichever way she’s swinging. It is a very linear, prescriptive disease, and very hard to control and live with.

As a result, coupled with the strong young lady she is, she (we) has had a rough, rough go.

She rebelled. She hated her disease (rightly so) and fought it.

She knew what to do, she didn’t do it.

She suffered with anxiety, depression, pain and anger as a result of out of control blood sugars.

And the terrible irony was that the worse she fought, the worse her disease became and the worse she then felt, which spun that awful circle of pain deeper and deeper.

This is a ten year story that has included therapy, crying, begging, talking, bribing, coddling, and tough love. Doctors went from saying “this is normal, it’s a stage, she’ll grow out of it” through ICU stays with doctors warning us now she is “critical” and must get this under control or else….well, I can’t even write about “or else.” But things, got, bad.

Culminating this year with the deepest depression and anxiety she has sadly, ever experienced. It kept her trapped, tortured her magnificent soul, and affected her psyche like nothing in ten years I have ever witnessed. It’s her story, not mine to tell, but my story is that as a mother, watching my beautiful, smart, kind and gift of a daughter suffer was almost too much to bear.

I’ve had a therapist liken this to drug addiction. The obvious difference is that this is not her choice. Heroin is a choice to a junkie, but Diabetes just IS. It is certainly not her choice, but it is her burden. So there is a similar lack of comparison of control. She couldn’t control her Diabetes, so it controlled her. She, has been powerless against it. Therefore, she succumbed to it and is had defeated her.

Until now.

Something clicked.

They say to change,  you have to hit your bottom to recognize your true pain.

I think the same is true with Diabetes.

I think, this beautiful woman realized she had stopped living her life.

I think, this beautiful woman realized how loved she was and how short life is and was sick and tired of hurting.

I think this beautiful woman realized she limited herself from seeing, dreaming and planning her future and chasing her dreams, because she was too afraid she wouldn’t have a future.

Then, I think, this beautiful woman started to realize her power, her innate, glorious glowing power, was quite possibly her secret weapon to accept, then KICK this disease’s ass.

So, back that profound  “this is what it’s all about” AHA moment I had last night?

This beautiful woman decided to take control.

We’ve watched it happening slowly the past few months. She has been making her doctor appointments, following through on her therapy, using her medical devices (a pump and a monitor) to watch her blood sugars, and I like to think we have been her biggest cheerleaders. We stopped realizing a couple of years ago we can’t do this for her, she has to do this all on her own. We can support her, but it’s all her. Which is a ironically sad and powerful double whammy. But, it’s her truth, and she finally understood that and started taking her power back.

So last night she texts me, and says she started a new Instagram page. A commitment to the world, more important to herself, she was now, in CONTROL.

It’s called Type1Thriving – Diabadass.

SHE IS IN CONTROL.

She finally made that choice, To not just live her life, but THRIVE at her life.

Starting an Instagram page may not seem like much to you, but this simple act brought her struggle with diabetes full circle.

She has ACCEPTED it.

She is now KICKING ITS ASS.

She is now, consciously, choosing, doing and acting.

She is aware, and committed to not going back to that dark ugly place, where diabetes controlled her, ever.

Will she still go high? Yes.

Will she still have bad days where her pump kinks and she feels depressed and defeated? Yes.

Will she always have Diabetes? Sadly, yes.

BUT, I think she may just realize now God gave her this disease for a reason. We don’t know why, but it’s her choice what to do with this. And I think she may just have something really powerful to do. We will see.

Either way, she has finally chosen, to OWN it. To find her power, to tap in to her strength, and the energy and support from not only God but her supportive parents, family and friends.

We have one life to live. The proudest moment of my life was seeing her make the decision to live hers.