Many of my musings talk about the why I do the things I do. I push myself hard, in many ways, and understanding me, and my childhood, it’s easy to see why.

I was a fat kid. Less than average, the black sheep. As a result I had terribly painful pre/teen years filled with internal struggles and a lack of confidence (that I chose to suffer through), enduring a decade plus’ worth of self hate, poor decisions and painful lessons.

I’m not smart enough or deep enough to wax poetic about why things happen; why some people are strong while others are weak. Why some take the straight path and others are so enthralled with the crooked ones. Fate, nature, nurture, social media…are all factors in the how we handle adversity.

One thing, every single person in this world has in common, is adversity. Everyone, no matter what race, religion or belief will deal with it. Pain, sadness, despair; it’s going to happen to us all.

Good news is, so is happiness, love and hope. These polarities can’t exist without their opposites. Good or bad, we all have these to experience, live though and draw from.

The circumstances and pain vary, and undoubtedly there is great disparity in the way some vs others suffer. But my pain is valid to me, just as your pain is valid to you.

No matter the circumstance, we all have the ability to choose how to react to our circumstances. And this choice on how to react, I believe, is the skill, that will change, empower and shift your life.

I just recently read something that helped me, from a higher perspective, understand the power of choice a bit more:

“We are often faced with challenging situations that test our capacity to choose the positive polarity… so that we can contextualize what it means to choose Love in our intentions.

When someone hurts us, it provides the opportunity to choose forgiveness for their actions.

When someone steals from us, it provides the opportunity to choose compassion for their circumstances.

When someone puts us down, it provides the opportunity to choose empathy for their own pain”

That make sense?

It takes a concentrated effort to pause, recognize and choose to work through these reactions, but once you do, this power of choosing (love), will change your life.

I had help on this evolutionary journey. (We all usually do, but again it’s up to us to see it, and accept it).  My husband came into my life and saw immediately, my beauty, inside and out. It took some effort, but he got me to see it too. He was my mirror, shining a different interpretation of myself back to me. And slowly, the old programs I encrypted so long ago, were now a script for me to rewrite.

Through this growth and through this process, he taught me to take chances.  To push myself. And the more I did, and the more I succeeded, and the greater the risks I took.

The fat girl, was replaced by an athlete.

The not very smart girl, was replaced by a successful business woman.

The sad girl, pining for love, was replaced by a grateful, loving woman who now recognized love was really all around me to be found.

As I noted earlier, I do believe, no one “makes” us happy. Or sad for that matter. Only us/we/you, can “let anyone” make you feel any certain way.

But, recognizing the people in your lives as part of your journey, and allowing them to help you grow is another huge part of this evolution. My husband was my safety net when I chose to leap, smiling, when miraculously, I didn’t fall. He held my hand when I chose growth and acceptance, and was aside me to celebrate it when it magnified.

Is every day full on sunshine and joy and rainbows? Of course not. But understanding I can STILL CHOOSE my reactions to whatever situation is happening, helps. It softens the pity party when things go south and a day is bleak. Sometimes, I want a pity party! That’s OK too, because now I can recognize the pity party is my choice. Just as is putting on my big girl panties, and moving on. Staying in pain, looking for a solution to pain – MY CHOICE.

The beauty is there. The pain is there. This is simply life. It may take some work, but the practice of choosing how you react, how you interpret, and how you either surround that moment of your life (good or bad) with love or with negativity, is like a magic power. And trust me, once you harness it, you will never, ever be the same.